Stop crying for Otousan!
by XBECKX
Summary: The never ending joy of utter pampering to one's son. Minato never ending problems all start with a bundle of blonde haired joy. Childhood fanfiction of Father & Son. Naruto and Minato
1. Tears of woe

"Ah I don't know what is wrong with him!" wailed a traumatized father.

It had been two whole hours in the Hokage office where a little toddler named Naruto was crying. The noise was was non-stop, Minato had absolutely no clue on what to do.  
He had been trying to calm the tiny infant down with all the techniques and skills he had. He had tried EVERYTHING, and I really mean EVERYTHING.  
He checked Naruto's dipper for smelly no-nos, made sure he had his tummy fed with milk. Minato looked if he had some illness, there were no signs of anything that he needed to call the Medic Nins for.

He looked at his son's fingers seeing if there were splinters. The Hokage made sure Naruto's pacifier was there, he brought out thousands of toys to cheer him up, he sung him over one thousand and thirty two different lullabies in different languages.

After fifteen minutes, he tried the airplane which the child loved, made many impressions, rocked Naruto in many different styles.

Seeing how it couldn't be something of the area he checked outside there wasn't an end to ramen, and finally to a last resort he even transformed himself in to Itachi in a dress! (which really didn't help it just made the child cry louder)  
The brilliant Yondaime, the legacy of all ninjas, who could defeat a whole deadly army, take on the elite Akatsuki, ward off thousands of evil demons…could not figure out why his own tiny son was crying.

"Mah mah…" comforted Minato, swaying his son back and forth. "Tell Tou-san what is wrong!" Which he received in reply as more wailing.

"Ah! Don't cry Naruto!" said Minato. But finally due the stress and long hour of listening to his son cry, _he_ began to be the verge on tears,while hugging Naruto tighter to his chest. Naruto began crying louder and shoving his father away.

You could see how the Yondaime shifted his moods and elevated to the dramatic daddy stage.

"Ah Naruto, do you not want to spend time with your Daddy anymore? Does Naruto hate his Daddy!"  
Minato began bawling too. Two bawling babies in the Hokage office. The sound echoed across the village. Some citizens were in confused shock, thinking they were under attack by the Banshee Ninjas from another nation!

_How the mighty have fallen..._

Right then and there, Jiraiya had walked into the office for a nice visit, when he was greeted by his this image of his prodigal student crying like a big baby. This didn't really make the teacher's day to see his top pupil like this. Watching a grown man berate himself was pitiful, but watching berate himself to a baby who can't even understand him was pathetic. As well** very very sad.**

He continued to list his sins to his son, "Naruto hates his tou-san…. IS IT BECAUSE I FORGOT TO PAT YOUR TUMMY LAST NIGHT? I AM SORRY! I WON'T FORGET EVER AGAIN!"

"…."

"Naruto, OH how I can get you stop hating me? I know! I'll take you to Ichiraku everyday! How about that? I WILL IGNORE YOUR MOTHER'S WARNING OF SODIUM CONTENT! JUST DON'T HATE YOUR OTOUSAAAAAAN" wailed Yondaime dribbling snot and tears all over his son's face.

"Oy…."

"Eh! Naruto you can talk? YOUR FIRST WORDS? Tell me, tell me what you want!"

"Minato…"

"You said Tou-san's name! THIS IS WONDERFUL! EVEN THOUGH IT'S NOT PAPA LIKE I WANTED! Even though I was hoping for a higher cuter voice too..."

"MINATO!"

Yondaime turned his head around to see his former teacher standing there in the door frame, just looking at him with the most I-feel-pity-for-me-for-ever-teaching-this-thing expression.

"Oh hi Jiraiya-Sensei, what do you want?"

"I just came by to visit you…"

"Ah sorry Jiraiya-sensei, I am kinda busy…" said Minato holding up his son to his teacher, as though he needed to prove his point.

"How long has he been crying?" Jiraiya asked bemusedly, taking a peep at the little menace.

"Four hours and forty minutes…"

"Give him to me," said Jiraiya.

As though planned in a old Japanese drama, the immediate action the Yondaime took was backing away as far he could and shielding Naruto from his perverse teacher.

"What?"

"No! You will not taint my innocent son with your…your…veil "_research_" hissed Minato covering up Naruto's ears, even though he failed to realize as Naruto who couldn't know the word "apple" would know what they were talking about tits and ass.

"_What are you talking about_? Just give him here, I am just going to rock him and then he'll shut up," said Jiraiya.

"Sensei, I've tried that already," whined Minato, his stubbornness of giving up his precious child was even a problem with his wife.

"Just give him over here," _I thought you couldn't take being a dotting father to being Mother Hen _thought Jiraiya.

"Fine…"

Yondaime gave the old sage his little bundle of sunshine, his world, his pearl, his cream to the center of the doughnut ...insert very sore core of purpose which most mothers feel with a new born... in Jiraiya's arms and rather reluctantly removed his arms from the child.

"Hello there little Nano –,"

"_Naruto,_ sensei… For God's sake you named the child..."

"Oh right, hello there little Naruto!" Smiled the old sennin, the sage wiggled his finger at the baby's face.

"Sensei it's not going to – ''

Suddenly, there was silence... The little infant stop crying and blinked. Naruto looked up to his new holder, he saw a man with great white hair and red lines on his face. The baby stopped crying and started giggling pulling on the white hair.

"… Sensei it worked!" Minato said in surprise.

"See! I, JIRAIYA. THE HANDSOME MAN THAT CAN SILIENCE A CRYING CHILD WITH HIS LOOKS!"

"Yay my little Naruto is happy now! NOW BACK TO PAPA~" As soon as Minato took the child back within his hands, Naruto began crying all over again. Minato placed Naruto back in his godfather's arms, he stopped. As though to test his theory, took back Naruto once more, Naruto was struggling with all his might to get out. But as soon as he was back in the sennin's arms the crying stopped.

Minato backed away from the two, a dark cloud over loomed over him. He placed a hand over his mouth to stop himself from choking from tears.

"Naruto…have you began to hate your Daddy and replaced him for an old pervert with no sense of dignity or shame…?" he fell to the floor and went into a corner weeping. "For you I'll grow old and make a living by selling porno graphic novels to the ANBU. Later, I'll peep on women for a living even though I'll have no chance with them..."

"OY, DONT TALK ABOUT ME AS THOUGH I AM NOT HERE NAMIKAZE!" The old sage tried to keep his anger at bay, preventing himself throwing the table at Minato's face.

_"Trying to hit on Tsunade baba..."  
_  
" By the way Minato, when are you going to take off that outfit…" ignoring the last comment, Jiraiya was looking his student with great curiosity.

"Huh this? But Orochimaru-san said it looked great on me!" He puffed up his chest.

"…Of course, he said it would look great... maybe it's the MAIN reason why Naruto is crying…"

"Are you sure….?"

"Yes…"

The outfit was very similar the original but instead of the purple bow it was a orange bow. Minato took off the replica of Orochimaru's outfit and went into his normal clothing.

Sure enough, Naruto stopped crying immediately.

"I wonder why Naruto cried over seeing Orochimaru's new outfit?," said Minato while rocking his baby.

"Yeah_ I wonder._" replied his teacher with the most dripped sarcasm.

* * *

Naruto stopped crying in his Tou-san's arms, as well Jiraiya runs through towns and every country announcing how he can stop a child's cries with his handsome face. But it is not a happy ending, for Orochimaru was upset Minato stopped wearing his outfit, and claiming him it scared his son.

Which was a pity, Orochimaru simply _LOOOOOVED_ Naruto. I guess he'll have to settle for the grumpy Uchiha newborn who is almost as cute.


	2. Open Wide

Open up wide!

The mission seemed impossible, it was the most difficult task in his life but he had to do it. It was going to be a life or death situation. His opponent was the most skilled and diabolical challenger.

_A most worthy adversary indeed_, Minato thought.

He grinned while sweat was growing on his forehead, he only had one chance and victory would be his!  
He wasn't called the Golden-Flash for nothing! Beads of sweat dripped from the side of his face, but he held his stance.

_I can do this… I made my own famous techniques and I am the frickin' Hokage. I can obviously do this! BELIEVE IT! _**  
**

Minato saw an opening and moved hand, and believing he finally took down his enemy.

**"HIIIIIIIIIYAAAAAAAAAA!" **

**"!"**

"AH! Sorry! SORRY SORRY NARUTO!" cried Minato while wiping the baby food off the toddler's face. 

Yes, it was another hard day for our favorite father of Konoha. It was high noon, Naruto had not been fed his lunch, and he was a very picky baby when it came to food. Unfortunately, for Minato, Naruto hadn't grown any teeth and he couldn't start eating ramen (and that his wife would give him a good scolding). Which we know is both his wife's and son's favorite food. Now usually his wife had been the one feeding their son, but today Minato insisted that she should have a nice time out with her friends. It had nothing to do with that Kushina would bring about the face Naruto would make that he's never seen when eating his meal.

"Come on Naruto, you gotta to open wide and eat!" he scooped up some of the goo in the baby frog spoon and attempting once more.

"Hmhm!" Naruto turned his head as Minato tried moving his spoon closer to his mouth.

"Naruto, here comes the birdie!"

"HMPH!" Naruto turned to the left.

"Yum yum, eat this and you'll become strong like your daddy!"

"HMPH!" Naruto turned to the right.

"Here comes the Anbu in for the kill!"

"BLAGHY!" He made a revolted face to his father in his taste of food and music.

"Naruto, please tell me what is wrong, is the baby food too cold? Too warm? Too food?"

"Yo sensei…"

"NARUTO DID YOU SAY YOUR FIRST WORD! MY GOD, IS THAT WHY YOU'RE NOT EATING, BUILDING UP TO SPEAK TO ME? I was hoping you would say Tou-san…or chicheri…or papa... BUT BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS!"

"SENSEI."

Minato turned his head into the direction of the noise that was calling him. A silver haired teenager, stood at his door fame waving his hand as a sign of greeting.

"Ah Kakashi, so nice of you to drop by," smiled Minato.

"Naruto-kun giving you troubles again sensei?" asked Kakashi, looking at the fidgeting baby, trying to escape this torturous device known as the high chair.

"Yes… too bad Naruto can't go back to his breast feeding stage like good old times," Minato sighed nostalgically , as he spooned more food and having Naruto slap the utensil out of his hand.

Kakashi had a horrible flash back of that day of that horrendous event.

* * *

"_Sensei, here are the new mission folders I have to give to –," rushed in Kakashi in the room._

_"...You?"_

_There stood Minato with_ _a strap on his body. Where his chest was suppose to be, were two milk bottles jutting out of his chest while Naruto happily suckled away at his father's bosom._ (Referance Meet the Fockers)

_"I'll just put them right here sensei…" The damage of this image was so great, the image actually imprints itself on his sharingan techniques.  
_

* * *

Kakashi shuddered in silence, the old image sent shivers down his spine. Minato continued to try to get Naruto to open his mouth and eat the vile contents of baby food.

"I've tried everything!" cried Minato putting his arms in utter defeat and putting the bottle beside him.

"Everything sensei?

"YES! Airplanes, trains, birdies, flying pigs… then I tried doing juggling…."

"Sensei... no juggling….Remember what happened to Tobi's eye?"

"Oh yea…."

"Hmm is Naruto-kun easily amused?" pondered Kakashi, rubbing his chin.

"Well I guess he is for any infant…" as Minato scratched his chin.

Without a notice, Kakashi moved his hands into a seal and summoned his nin-dogs on the spot. Before Minato got to give Kakashi an earful on animal hygiene and what they could do to babies. Naruto opening his eyes to the sound, giggled in joy seeing the animals. He took this golden opportunity, Minato spooned a wade of food into Naruto's mouth. The baby looked a little shocked and his cheeks were puffed up with the goo inside.

"Yes! Now Naruto swa –"

Before Minato could even finish his sentence, Naruto spat out the food on to his father's face and gave him a look of disgust and annoyance on how he was tricked into eating _that_. Kakashi silently laughed in the corner holding his tears of joy in.

"….We were so close too," sighed Arashi wiping off the contents off his face.

"We could always use chidori…"

"HATAKE KAKASHI!" screamed his teacher.

"I was only joking!"

Minato gave a long hard look to his son, and Naruto gave a long hard baby pout look to his father. Trying to win this battle, Naruto pulled out the really pouty lips and then shined his eyes to BISHONEN STYLE TO THE MAX-YO! (Note the author will not be sued for using such horrible slang). Minato blinded by the cuteness, admitted to utter defeat.

"Sensei, what is in this stuff anyways?" asked Kakashi, as he sniffed the unknown white contains.

"I don't know, I got from Uchiha-san. He said it makes strong healthy babies," replied Minato looking in the little cup himself.

Both adults curiously dipped their finger in the white-brownish substance and put it in their mouths getting a good taste. With the same reaction as Naruto, both spat it out and made a face. Looking at each other replied the same thing.

"Natto."

Next day, Minato went and bought actual baby food from the store and not the one that had been handed by Sasuke's Papa. Also Kushina was upset at the mess in the kitchen and refused to let her husband feed Naruto. As for the natto paste... I mean who really feeds their kids that? Only an insane child would like it. I mean why do you think Sasuke grew so grumpy? He hated all the other children who got to eat normal baby food while he suffered the ultimate punishment. Look at Itachi, why do you think he wanted to kill off his clan? Spared some future Uchihas the suffering.

* * *

Natto - Fermented Soybeans, but since they are babies NATTO PASTE.


End file.
